Keepsakes

“Please enter your password. Then press pound,” says the mechanical voice, timbre pitch programmed to connote gender. Can a machine or a recording be, or even sound, female?
The phone beeps with each number I type—*****.
“You have 7 saved voice messages,” the voice continues. “To listen to you messages press 1. To send a message, press 2. To change your personal options, press 4. To disconnect press star.”
I don’t have any new messages, but this call is simply to indulge in nostalgia. I press 1.
“First saved voice message.”
“Hi babe it’s me. I just got your message I figured you were on the bus and maybe you could chat for a bit. Umm, I’m in the talks now but we have a little break. But I figure that you’re probably sleeping. In fact I can picture right now, with your head against the window and your mouth is open and your sleeping on your hand and your fingers are all curled up, on your cheek, and your probably drooling a little, and your eyes are all sleepy and squinty. But umm, yeah, (laugh, laugh) if you’re on the bus later, umm, we should be done like after 11. Umm, gimme a call then, or I’ll try to call you when I’m finished. Okay? Byyee.”
“End of message. To erase this message, press 7. To send a reply message, press 8. To save it, press 9. To hear more options, press 0.”
Beep.
“This message will be saved for—40 days. Next message.”
“Hi A***, it’s mommy. Gimme a call sometime. Okee doke. Byye.”
“End of message. To erase this message, press 7. To send a re—”
Beep.
“This message will be saved for—40 days. Next message.”
Singing into the phone he says “When you cry, I do a dance for—wait, that’s not very nice. When you cry, I dry your tears with the back of my wrist. And when you sneeze, I cover your nose with the front of my wrist. And when you fart, I fan your fart with the front of my wrist. And when—(Laugh, Laugh) And when you laugh, I have to laugh with all my…twist. (laugh) And when you sleep, I hold your head with the inside of my wrist. (laugh, laugh) Yo man I was listening to one of your old messages, and wondering what kinda poems you have on love these days. It may need a little addition to the progromme. So gimme a call back mon. And uh, you know uh, let’s touch base. Alright. Peace.”
“End of message. To erase—”
Beep.
“This message will be saved for—40 days. Next message.”
“Hello this is R*** and F*** calling to wish A*** a happy birthday. I imagine that you’re either having the preparty, the party, the dinner, the afterparty, or making love. And we expect that there will be lots of love in all stages. (laugh) Umm, A***’s birthday on our end has been marked by the first night of Boric Acid. We hope it works. Talk to you later. Bye bye.”
“End of message—”
Beep.
“This message will be saved for—40 days. Next message.”
“Hi babe, it’s me. I’m just calling to say that I’m going to sleep and to see how your studying is going, ummm. I guess your still engrossed in your books that you didn’t hear your phone, which is ok. I’m just getting to bed now so if you get this give me a call back, ummm. Otherwise have a good night and I love you very much. Bye.”
“End of message. To erase this message, press 7—”
Beep.
“This message will be saved for—40 days. Next message.
Singing loudly into the phone, “Cousin A***. What’s up big boyy. This is R**, callin’ from the west coast. Tryin’ to see where you at. How ya livin’. What’s goin’ on in your world. Get back at me, whenever you got the time. Drop a dime. Call me at ###-###-####. Alright little brotha. Stay blessed. And keep on doin’ what ya do. Yeah! Much love, to you.”
“End of message. To erase this message, press 7—”
Beep.
“This message will be saved for—40 days. Next message.
“Hi A*** this is M********* calling to find out if you got there ok. And I was beginning to wonder that I gave you the wrong address or the, or was steering you the wrong way on the wrong side of the street or something. Oh I don’t know, umm, cuz I know there are galleries on the opposite side of the street too. So, I hope you found it. And you’ll tell me all about it when I see you on Monday night I guess. Bye now.”
“End of message—”
Beep.
“This message will be saved for—40 days. End of messages. To listen to your messages press 1.”